I was in the middle of a life altering change, trying to save both my husband's life and my own. I had been posting weight loss numbers on my Facebook page, and kept being sent multiple questions about how I was doing it ... and could I help another do it too? I decided after several people suggested a blog would most definitely help them make this life change as well, to create "Confessions of a Carb Addict" - a place where you will always find honesty, real help for real people (no outlandish steps or plans here!) and friendship along the way of creating a new life for yourself and your family. Life changes are scary, I will be the first to admit that. No matter what the life change you are making might be. In my case, it was my family's diet.
Everyone has a story of how their life got to the point where it is, good or bad. Let me briefly tell you mine. I had always had weight issues, from my youth onward. I developed PCOS (Learn about PCOS here) in my early teens, and became extremely insulin resistant (Learn about insulin resistance here). I was borderline diabetic and my weight was skyrocketing. The very things that I knew I should NOT eat were the things that I craved the most. Carbs! I had been through infertility treatments in 2009 and knew that I needed to eat low carb to get my PCOS in check, not only to help with fertility but to assure I didn't go from being just insulin resistant to full blown Type 2 diabetic. I followed the eating plan, lost about 100 pounds, and then went through a horribly painful divorce and landed right back where I was, and then some. Over eaters will agree with me that when crisis hits, we like to go for the most unhealthy carb ridden foods to help comfort us. Isn't emotional eating great? I say that incredibly sarcastically! Of course it isn't great. And the further I reached for foods to comfort me, the more my self esteem plummeted and the fatter I became. I pledged to myself after losing the 100 pounds in 2009 that I would never let myself get to the weight that I was when I started. This blog is about honesty, and so I'm going to spill my beans. In 2009, at the start of my first weight loss journey I began at a whopping 310 pounds. The next few years, weight crept back on. I got over my divorce and fell in love again. But my love and I also had a love for food. I love to cook, and he loved it too. And I was raised in a family where "cooking" included mostly southern style fare - AKA straight to heart attack and morbid obesity city. My husband was a big guy, and so I felt more inclined to be a bigger woman without feeling too low in my self esteem. But that changed.
Now, I jump to a few weeks ago ... After feeling incredibly exhausted one morning, and just really in a brain fog, I decided to check the scales. I hadn't in a LONG time. And for good reason ... I knew my weight was back up there because I had been pulling out my "really fat clothes" from before, out of boxes, so that I had something I could wear for a few months. I stepped on the scale and looked down and felt like an absolute failure. Again, brutal honesty is all you will get from me. The scale glared at me - 312 pounds. Not only had I reached the weight that I swore I would never reach again, but I had added 2 more pounds to it. I felt indescribable ... and like an idiot, I comforted my pain in food again, because I felt like I was hopeless. I also have Fibromyalgia (Learn about Fibromyalgia here) and with all the added weight, I felt like I almost couldn't move. I was just miserable. I couldn't figure out what to do with myself and I just wanted to give up. I was blinded by my depression. Then, interestingly enough on Friday the 13th, my husband went to see his doctor because of feeling lousy and bad headaches. He is a type 2 diabetic, diagnosed several years ago. Of course, one of the first things the doctor checked was his blood sugar. It was 398! They gave him insulin immediately and started him on insulin at home. And that blood sugar was a fasting blood sugar. That night was so terrifying to us both. His blood sugar ultimately got up around 420 and had no end in sight. That is when I realized that I had to be the strong one to make the changes we HAD to have in our lives. The way that we were eating was literally killing us. I made my husband promise me that he would follow how I planned our meals exactly and not cheat with foods and drinks that were not allowed. And then, I set out on my mission to change our lives once and for all. No excuses!
I am going to attempt to post daily or at least every other day with our food diaries, weight loss tracking, and help for anybody stuck in the same place we are in. I really believe in emotional support and I hope that I can give that to you! Please subscribe to my blog and join me in a realistic way of changing your life for the better! Hope to see you around here often :)
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